oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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