Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
