My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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