I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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