they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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