Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?