I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.