I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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