So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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