so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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