Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize