and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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