i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
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I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
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i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out