Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her