That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
