the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize