I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
