You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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