An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.