it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me