you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica