Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened