I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?