Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.