We won't sleep together?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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