So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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