I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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