I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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