I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My vagina is officially offended.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
