Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize