you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
