i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
