I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
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Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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