Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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