hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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