this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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