I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize