I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize