ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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