If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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