How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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