he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize