i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
sex in a hospital.. check
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Shame - the story of my life.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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