I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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