she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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