she was so not down for the gang bang
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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