i just made my gag reflex go away.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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