Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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