it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
