You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Randomize