i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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