tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
