I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I need to calm my uterus...