no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...