If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.