He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain