loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name