Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
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FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
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Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question