Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.