Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny