dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
its like you know when i get waxed