Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
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Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
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don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun