he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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