i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
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Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
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I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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