shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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